Reviewing One of the Finest Napa Valley Wines

I am absolutely compelled to report on a newly released wine that, as far as I can tell, is among the finest Napa Valley wines.

This 2009 Cabernet Sauvignon from Napa Valley can be described as boasting black jammy fruits, cassis, freshly plowed earth and dark chocolate.

I can also report the opulence and massive texture is undeniable while the glycerol-like body and silky tannins elegantly glide through an expansive, palatable finish.

The wine is unquestionably reflective of a winemaking effort aimed at producing wine in the most precise and expressive way possible. Intuition and talent must have been at the heart of the effort behind this wine. The wine is a blend of 80% Cabernet Sauvignon, 15% Merlot, 4% Petit Verdot and 1% Malbec. Aged for 20 months in 70% new French oak, this signature and voluminous wine will retail for $110.
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Disclosure: I have not tasted this wine. However, I was sent a wonderful press release anouncing the release of the wine and explaining its remarkable qualities. However, no sample was offered for me to try. But if the wine's release is worthy of a press release, surely it is worthy of writing about.


21 Responses

  1. Noblewines - August 8, 2012

    I think I’ve tasted that same wine… I think its only worth $109! Only 20 months in 70% new French Oak. For $110 I expect at least 2 years and 200% new French Oak.

  2. El Jefe - August 8, 2012

    That’s one of the most palatablest reviews ever ever! In for a case.

  3. Tim - August 8, 2012

    Oh man, if that wasn’t generated by a random-review bot, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle, because it doesn’t contain the word ‘unctuous’, which no tosser of a word-salad like this could possibly resist.

  4. Wine Harlots - August 8, 2012

    The Emperor’s New Clothes Wine Reviews: We don’t taste the wine, we just copy the press release!

  5. Tom Wark - August 8, 2012

    Harlot:
    Seems like the simplest way to go. However, not sure the readers will stay with me long without the names of the wine. But, we’ll see.

  6. Steve Heimoff - August 8, 2012

    Classic “what were they thinking?”

  7. Beau - August 8, 2012

    That sounds amazing! I want to buy two cases.

  8. Mike Duffy - August 8, 2012

    Voluminous?
    “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
    — Inigo Montoya, THE PRINCESS BRIDE

  9. Thomas Pellechia - August 8, 2012

    What good is the review? You didn’t tell us where we can get hold of this Finest Napa Valley Wine and now this $110 will have to go up my nose…

  10. Fgj - August 8, 2012

    Sounds Wine Advocate-ish.

  11. Bob Rossi - August 8, 2012

    Not enough Cabernet; it needs at least 98%. Plus more Malbec. Then 3 years in 300% new French oak. And cut the price to $105, including shipping. Oh, forget it, I’ll take a case of Bourgueil from the Loire Valley at the same price as one bottle.

  12. Josh - August 8, 2012

    Amen.

  13. JohnLopresti - August 8, 2012

    I’d like to meet some of the ‘intuitive and talented’ people who made that wine. I would like to read more about the way decisions were made in the blending proportions, too.
    Send a few bottles UPS as free samples, and I will write paragraphs. But I need more information than what the sensory evaluation provides, given the vagueness of some of the writeup so far.
    If my idea works out and sounds reasonable, I will send Tom W my address to hasten the process of setting the pen to paper and improving the publicity announcement.
    One drawback, however: I don’t write flavor-wheel stuff. The article has plenty of that already.
    And it does not sound the least spritzy.
    If it is, I can be persuaded that’s an attribute, too.

  14. Jim Caudill - August 9, 2012

    I had that wine, but it was $7.97 in the bargain bin at Bottle Barn

  15. Lara - August 9, 2012

    I’m just not into ‘jammy’ or ‘fresh plowed earth’ wine. Sounds like it would be way too complex for me.

  16. doug wilder - August 10, 2012

    It is midnight but suddenly I have an urge to be blinded and deafened and fed blackberry slathered buttermilk biscuits by a 25 year old PR manager (like Social Media Managers, they need to be young) while David Byrne recites this spiel over a crackly radio plugged into my cerebral cortex. It sways me that much… And I thought a winery sending me a press kit containing a bottle of atmospheric gases was the most brilliant marketing coup, but this takes the cake, I mean biscuit, a very palatable biscuit. I’m really jealous, Tom, that you got this and I didn’t.

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  19. Off Licences in Essex - August 13, 2012

    Great post.I did not taste Napa Valley wines.but i want to taste.Thanks for sharing.

  20. Vino Pete - August 13, 2012

    What was the name of that wine again??? Is it really ‘unctuous’?
    Too funny!

  21. Mark - August 13, 2012

    UCB must be really, really proud. It’s weird right-a winery with a significant brand presence releases something like that? Is that how they are planning to grow their D2C base? If so, they probably aren’t going to be happy with the results-


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