Wine Snobs—Apply Here

snobOne of my pet peeves is the characterization of dedicated wine lovers as alternatively “assholes”, “jerks”, “pretentious” or, of course, “snobs”.

It’s probably truth that this perception of wine lovers began and continued as a result of that rare breed of people who take the opportunity to show off their wine vocabulary and knowledge in front of people who don’t care about wine and likely for the purpose of pumping up their own self-esteem. And while these people deserve ridicule, the fact is, they are rare. Still the perception they leave among many that wine lovers are jerks has stayed at work in our culture

This perception damages and retards wine sales. It serves to denigrate perfectly respectable wine lovers committed to wine as an avocation. So, what we need, of course, is reality TV show that is seeking to highlight the most pompous wine snobs that can be manufactured.

Care to be one of those folks who serve to help ruin the reputation of wine connoisseurship? Great. You can now audition for a show dedicated to showing wine lovers in their worst, most pompous, most alienating light.

This casting call for potential “well-versed oenophiles, self acknowledged wine snobs all, of diverse ages, backgrounds, and hometowns” may or may not be legitimate. There may or may not be a reality show coming to the Dickwad Channel about wine snobs. But there it is, the casting call, on Craigslist.

What kind of jerk are they looking for? This kind:

Six well-versed oenophiles, self acknowledged wine snobs all, of diverse ages, backgrounds, and hometowns traverse the summertime countryside in a 30′ stretch limousine, visiting craft wineries across the USA in search of vintages of distinction and perfection….Scenes akin to ‘Yelp.com on video’ erupt on a regular basis as wine snobs express unrehearsed, unedited, sometimes-brutal honesty to winery owners and staff. Evaluations run the gamut from a wine snob spinning into verbose overload, showering effusive praise on a prized vintage or a breathtaking vineyard view, to dissing a winery owner over skunky wine or a dead motor vehicle parked redneck-style on winery grounds.”

What talent must you have to make it on this “reality” show?: ” A snobby, yet engaging persona!” GREAT!!

We live in a culture overloaded by schlock, that celebrates anti-intellectualism, and that invites the rise of an idiocracy.”Wine Snobs” appears to possess all the hallmarks of the attitude that supports this kind of culture.

Posted In: Culture and Wine

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8 Responses

  1. regina - February 4, 2014

    This is a hoot. Another Sideways, but with more assholes and.new story.Have fun.

  2. Laura leet - February 4, 2014

    As a former wine and spirit rep (over q quarter of a century), I could nominate quite a few wine buyers to your casting call. I had one guy tell me my wine tasted like matterized tomatoes, with the pinched scowl on his face he was famous for. It was a highly allocated, highly rated expensive Biondi-Santi. There were others that every white wine I brought them tasted like cat piss. Looking back it was a blast, living it was a nightmare.

  3. Richard - February 4, 2014

    Tom, perhaps we should combine our talents and try to sell a show to one of the many “reality channels” about ‘The Redneck Wine Connysewers…” I can hear the dialogue now “Hey, Cletus, don’t ‘is ‘un hyare taste lak grapes?” “Hell, yeah! Bubba, tastes jest lak grapes ta me too! woo hoo! We could get an old 63 Ford F100 and have our “Wine Rednecks” drive around Sonoma and Napa tasting wines and film their spontaneous reactions… Then they could critique each winery and wine and make clever comments like “Cayn’t get ‘is at Trader Joe’s neither!” Be geared to “anti wine snob” set.

  4. doug wilder - February 4, 2014

    Which episode do they drive the limo off a cliff?

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  6. Tim - February 5, 2014

    How much does it pay? Very funny Tom!

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