Unsurprisingly, Joe Has Something To Say
Famed wine importer Joe Dressner has brain cancer. That's not so much my worry as is the sorry condition the cancer will be in when Joe gets done reducing it to a pulp. Joe's not someone you screw with, particularly if all you've got in your arsenal is a bit of cancer.
For those of you who are not aware, Joe is one of the most respected importers in America, perhaps the very first wine blogger, and someone with literally no ability to hold his tongue. And these are just some of the reason the people who like him and admire him, like me, like him and admire him. Some will know that Joe has on occasion called me on the carpet for some of my opinions, questioned my taste in wine, and pointed to some ideas of mine concerning the three tier system that he thinks are…over zealous. I've corrected him where necessary.
Unsurprisingly, Joe has decided to chronicle his destruction of the the overconfident cancer cells at his new blog, "The Amazing Misadventures of Captain Tumor Man." The blog is candid…What a surprise.
But one of the things he reveals in his new blog is something that I never expected to get out: Joe reveals that I believe wine wholesalers are responsible for planting the cancer in his head. It's true.
What he has not revealed is how I know this. And here's the story.
It was on a secret mission to infiltrate the offices of the Wine & Spirit Wholesalers Association compound when I discovered the plot to plant cancer in Joe's brain. Initially I had wrapped myself in black from head to toe, waited until all the folks left the WSWA offices, then broke in through a door after using a homemade jet pack to vault over the barbed wire fence surrounding the Wholesaler compound. I was on a mission to discover just how much gold bullion the Wholesalers had stored in their secret basement (yes they have one) for the time when the three tier system is completely dismantled and the world comes to an end. Instead, I discovered something very unusual.
At first I though I'd found a a cache of weapons. But upon closer investigation, I saw that what I had stumbled upon was an Acme Cancer-Inducing, Nuclear Powered X-Ray Gun. I found a folder that had slipped down between two cases of cheap Aussie Wine with a label on it reading, "The Joe Dressner Project". I connected the dots.
Beating back cancer into the stone age is just Joe's latest adventure. And I suspect I'll have his criticisms and insights to deal with for years to come.
I can hold my tongue, but I can’t handle an imbecile who is being paid to lobby for retailers pretending that he has the interests of consumers at heart. You have as much interest in the consumer as the wholesalers do. You want everything to go through retailers, but do not call for wine producers selling directly to consumers because that cuts out your client base.
I don’t know where you got the material about you planting cancerous tumors in my brain. It must be some sort of West Coast humor I don’t understand. Frankly, I don’t find having brain cancer a humorous situation even if my brain tumor tickles your funny bone.
Lastly, you don’t like or admire me. You’ve never met me and don’t know me. You might mistake the blog world for the real world but I don’t.
In the blog world, I find you a loathsome, self-serving imbecile. But I’m certain you are a nice guy I’d love to meet in the real world. You just get carried away by the people who pay your fees when you write your blog.
Good entry, Tom.
I think Joe’s tombstone will bear the motto, LET THEM CALL YOU PISHER.
That’s French for … well, you can just imagine.
And by the way, a couple of years when I was suicidally depressed, I was hoping to ramp up the subgenre of death blogs. But no, Joe comme toujours has got the jump on me and everyone. Bravo old chap!
Tom, it’s the disease talking.
Joe:
You’d be surprised at the things, people and ideas I admire. I read your blog religiously for a number of years now for the simple reason that you have one of the most unique, entertaining and insightful voices in wine. I don’t always agree with you, but when you find me finaly reading only those I agree with please rip me a new one.
Now, I can live with being considered loathsome. And I can live with being called self serving. But imbecile? Surely you know by now that’s not the case.
Finally, if you do a little research, you’ll find that I got carried away long before someone was paying my fees. I have a long history of getting carried away…and doing so for free.
Godspeed to Joe Dressner. Who, in fact, doesn’t have a blog. He has a web site. Blogs have RSS feeds.
As with his other site, he has elected to make you go visit his site circa 1998, instead of publishing a feed.
Just the same, he sounds like he is in good humor, tumor and all, by insulting you after a very nice post.
Maybe he treats enemies and cancer with good cheer.
Jeff
Jeff: The new site has an RSS feed.
Tom:
Please answer my question. My force consumers to buy wine from retailers. Why not lobby for direct winery to consumer sales? I’ve asked you this question numerous times and you refuse to answer.
Why should consumers be forced to pay a retailer’s ransom to buy the wines they already want to buy? Why are you lobbying for this archaic system?
Tom: Forgive my typos above….I meant to say…..
Please answer my question. Why force consumers to buy wine from retailers? Why not lobby for direct winery to consumer sales? I’ve asked you this question numerous times and you refuse to answer.
Why should consumers be forced to pay a retailer’s ransom to buy the wines they already want to buy? Why are you lobbying for this archaic system?
“Finally, if you do a little research, you’ll find that I got carried away long before someone was paying my fees. I have a long history of getting carried away…and doing so for free.”
Tom – please elaborate on this as well.
Joe – keep it up, beat that damn cancer into a pulp, and great posts!
I’ve done some research. You’re big deal these days is painting all wholesalers as agents of evil and the retail sector and the source of all things beautiful and nice. You also collect money from retailers for your efforts.
But answer me why a consumer should pay a retailer’s 30 to 50% mark-up because the retailer holds control of a winery’s inventory. Why shouldn’t the wineries make the money themselves and sell direct?
Joe,
Read my comments on the Champagne thread where consumers and wineries and retailers are concerned.
As for wholesalers as agents of evil, it’s not quite like that in my view. As far as I can tell wholesalers are merely all agents of anti-consumer legislation and regulations.
“As far as I can tell wholesalers are merely all agents of anti-consumer legislation and regulations.”
… and capitalism!!!!
By the way, what’s all this childish nonsense about you planting my tumor? It’s in bad taste and not even funny.
Anyhow, I did read your contribution to the other thread. You write: “Right now, the biggest problem consumers have is that they are forced to buy wine from the selection that wholesalers bring into the state.”
That’s ridiculous in every sense. That might be the problem of a very small group of consumers who want big scoring wines.
But even there, lets think of the logistics. Our firm just got good reviews for a bunch of our Champagnes. We cannot possibly be in all 50 states with widespread distribution in each of those states. Each of our Champagnes comes from a truly small production house.
Nevertheless, several retailers manage to ship these wines to all 50 states. They’ve found some sort of loophole and sent the wines everywhere. Of course, there should not be a need to find a loophole, but consumers interested in the wines manage to find a way to get them.
Many of the world’s great wines are made in very small quantities. Blaming wholesalers for not getting 25 to 50 cases of limited production wine to all 50 states and covering every major metropolitan market is just plain demagogic silliness.
When wholesalers do work well they can create demand. I have noticed that the best wholesalers tend to be in the demographic areas where there is the most interest in wine. The areas where people travel, eat well, there is some money, and some culture. Our firm sells a lot of great Muscadet and I can assure you the demand for Muscadet was created between the producers, our company, our wholesalers and select retailers. The states with less interesting markets have trouble moving many of our obscure wines and thusly the distributor’s in those states (along with the retailers) don’t take the wines because they see those wines as a money-losing proposition. And maybe they are right!
So yes, everyone ought to be able to ship everywhere. But that’s not what you’re all worked up about here. Because, frankly, it is already being done.
The wine and liquor industry blossomed under prohibition. Do you imagine that the current Federal laws really prevent inter-state shipping?
Thanks Ken!
Happy Holidays to you and all your loved ones!
Where did Ken’s comments disappear to? I think they are essential to this most unusual thread.
Dear Spaghetticat:
I think the wholesalers got Ken’s comments and deleted them!
Joe, wishing you and yours the very best. Happy New Year.
Same to you Ken!
Joe