Jelly Belly’s War On Wine and Kids Begins
As a parent-to-be (only four months left!) I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to muster some sort of serious indignation upon hearing that Jelly Belly, that iconic candy company, has just released a new BEER flavored jelly bean. I’m supposed to be appalled that Jelly Belly is making it even harder for parents to raise their children right by making alcohol seem glamorous (or at least making alcohol seem sweet and harmless).
The fact is, I am appalled by this turn of events: Jelly Belly couldn’t make Pinot Noir-flavored jelly beans as their first foray into booze flavored bean? It had to be beer? Really?
It’s not like Our Little Project isn’t eventually going to be introduced to beer when they are young. That’s what High School is for, right? But wine….youngsters rarely encounter positive imagery surrounding wine and rarely are exposed to wine as a fun beverage. Beer always gets the nod. It’s not really fair.
Kids never get to see bottles of Chardonnay and bottles of Cabernet squaring off against each other on football field during a commercial break. They never see images of a manly man just picking up a bottle of wine and slugging it back, it’s always in this weird shaped glass….and that’s not inviting to a little kid.
Now Jelly Belly comes along and gives beer another step up with the youngsters. ::::sigh::::
Think about it. You want to introduce your three year-old to wine. What better way to do it than by putting a Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Zinfandel, Syrah and Muscat jelly been in front of them on the kitchen table and let them go at it.
Sure, the parent needs to be there to supervise and to explain things like “it’s not a good idea to blend the Zinfandel Bean with the Chardonnay Bean”, and educate the tyke about the origins of Chardonnay in Burgundy and to insist they never have more than 2 or 3 beans in an hour. And certainly, it’s going to take parental guidance to remind the little one that they never, never, never, should consume these beans and then try to operate their Bright Starts Walk-About Walker.
Anyway, and as always, it once again appears that it’s going to fall upon the wine-minded parents to educate their child about wine and that they can’t rely on good old-fashioned international conglomerates, candy companies nor even wineries (even the muscato-producing type) to help you raise your kid right. It’s all on you folks.
And as for you, Jelly Belly, creating a Merlot-flavored jelly bean for the kids woulda killed ya?