The Unhinged Anti-Wine Brigade Is Out in Force in Napa

They say, if they are coming at you, you must be doing something right. I don’t think the anonymous author of the email below had that axiom in mind when they penned and sent this classic today in response to a recent post here at Fermentation:

You are an idiot, Mr. Wark. And a toole (sic).

Those “unhinged alarmists” you denigrate in your story understand what is happening to the Napa Valley. The corporate stooges that make up this Valley’s “industry” have been raping the land, hills, trees and the environment for decades. And they don’t give a shit and neither do you. If there aren’t some restrictions put in place all we’ll have are vineyards and not a tree in sight because they could care less.

The wine industry doesn’t get to dictate what life is better than others and it sure doesn’t get to ruin the valley or everyone else in pursuit of the all mighty dollar. You bet the citizens of napa want to “roll” back visitors to the valley. They are killing us with more hotels, more traffic, moor (sic) water pollution and all so wine capitalism can thrive at the expense of the environment.

If you want to sell your wine then do it like everyone else sells stuff and put it in the stores. Not in the “event centers” that have nothing to do with agriculture or farming.

The Woodland Initiative will pass and there won’t be any fucking technicality to stop it this time. you can bet on this. And when it does you can bet there will be laughter when we watch you and the rest of the land rapists cry into your wine.

I’ve never considered myself a “toole” of anyone except my clients and in this case, the post to which the good writer refers wasn’t written on behalf of anyone but myself. But that’s really beside the point, isn’t it.

The point, of course, is the point of the Oak Woodland Initiative. To quote: “You bet the citizens of napa want to “roll” back visitors to the valley.”

I get the impression this won’t be the first unhinged radical to suggest that Napa wineries close down tasting rooms. The Oak Woodland Initiative is hardly a strategy to protect anything.

But…Thank you for writing.

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Posted In: Napa Valley


9 Responses

  1. Jay C. - October 30, 2017

    Woah, I had no clue that there were moors in Napa, nor did I consider the idea that “moor water pollution” was caused by vineyards and wineries. Good to know!

    • Tom Wark - October 30, 2017

      So, now you know, Jay. Damn Moors!!!

      • Kyle Schlachter - November 2, 2017

        Noooo, I’m so sorry. It’s the MOOPS.

  2. Gabriel Froymovich - October 30, 2017

    Been there, under anti-wine fire, Tom. Guess it does mean we’re doing good work. One commonality I find in the anti-wine folks’ missives are an indication in their tone and words that they are unable to control their emotions and, therefore, need to control others’ behavior.

    I like, though, that he truly went medieval in his letter, with the archaic spelling of “toole”, as in “Ye Olde Toole Shop.” And, though I think it’s a bit Islamophobic to blame Napa’s water problems on the Moors, at least the epithet keeps character with his Renfair theme. I wonder if, in his fantasies of “laughter when we watch you and the rest of the land rapists cry” whether he’s in a mob of dirty peasants throwing rotten produce at you or if he gets to play the evil monarch laughing at your powerlessness.

    • Tom Wark - October 30, 2017

      You win the comment of the day and receive access to my blog anytime you want. “Ye Olde Toole Shop”….FUNNY.

  3. Patricia Stefanowicz MW - October 30, 2017

    Oh, dear. As far as I can recall we have plenty of moors in Britain, out in the West Country, at any rate. And there are Moors who conquered most of Spain from Morocco, as I recall, until they were finally dispatched. But I’ve never seen a moor or a Moor in Napa! Even in Britain we do not spell “tool” as “toole’, although the latter might be a surname?

    Never mind; perhaps things will sort themselves out?

  4. Stuart Smith - October 31, 2017


    Your commenter shows the same level of sensitivity and decorum that a speaker demonstrated when during the Walt Ranch public hearings, he looked right at the Halls and said “Why don’t you go back to Texas where you belong.” Your commenter is also proof that David Hume was right when he philosophized that “Reason is the slave of our passions.”

    Stu Smith

  5. Jason - October 31, 2017

    For the record “could care less” needs a (sic) as well since this toole obviously struggled through high school English….

  6. Richard - November 1, 2017

    Oh boy! Maybe he meant “moorons?” or I recall Bugs Bunny called them “maroons” – think they wouldn’t allow Bugs to say “moron” on Saturday morning TV – which, I think? is where your writer has received his education… And, yes, I’m glad Jason corrected the “could care less” – I’m presuming, though not certain, s/he meant “couldn’t care less” – though I’m sure the people he was speaking of “could care less” about a lot of issues – so, maybe that is what s/he meant?

    Think we’ve entered the “age of vitriol” – when we have a President who tweets it (vitriol) out all day long, one can only presume that others will follow his example in writing to sundry and all.

    Thanks for being a toole Tom – keep up your… Fomtoolery? Sorry… couldn’t resist…

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