Merry Bacchus Day?

Posted by Tom Wark on Feb 14, 2006

I made my peace with Valentines Day a long time ago. However, for quite some time I found the holiday somewhat offensive. In fact, I recall helping to organize a demonstration against the "Corporate Created, Guilt-i\Inspiring Holiday". Clearly our efforts didn’t have the effect we hoped for. Plus, a number of girlfriends, boyfriends and spouses of those of us leading the protest weren’t exactly sure how to view our actions.

But, as I mentioned, I made my peace with Valentines Day. I participate. But, I also have good reason to.

That said, I wonder what it would take to get another made up holiday off the ground. Could we create something that would inspire the masses to go out and shop, spend, and fret.

Could we, perhaps, create BACCHUS DAY?

A lot would have to be worked out, but it seems feasible: A holiday to celebrate the joy celebration with wine at its center. Everyone would feel compelled to buy a bottle of wine for friends and family on Bacchus Day. I think "Merry Bacchus Day" has a better ring to it than "happy Bacchus day," so I’d urge that phrasing.

It would be day when Bacchanalia would ensue across the land. Convention would demand that these parties not descend into drunken orgies. You can’t expect to create a national holiday based on drunken orgies….can you? No…You can’t. Never mind. No drunken orgies. Just parties centered around food and wine.

I’m pretty sure we’d have to get Hallmark on board to. You can’t have a great holiday without a greeting card. Maybe just a very slim column of "Bacchus Day Cards" to begin with would do. I think we could get Hal mark on board. There doesn’t seem to be a holiday they can’t endorse. It would be nice however if we could get the Peanuts people to license the image of snoopy or Linus for the cards. Holidays definitely work better when Snoopy and Linus are down with it.

We need an official Bacchus Day symbol too…like the heart for Valentines Day or the Turkey for Thanksgiving. I’m thinking a bright red WINE STAIN for our symbol…something abstract but it also needs to have an outline of a wine glass base in it. I can see the cards now. Linus with a wine stained security blanket, holding aloft his wine glass wishing the recipient a MERRY BACCHUS DAY.

We’ve got the name of the Holiday, the greeting, the activity (a food and wine event, not a drunken orgy), greeting cards, a symbol. All we need now is some initial corporate sponsorship. I wouldn’t want to make all this too obvious so I think Constellation Wine Brands, Gallo and Yellowtail are out. The healthcare industry probably isn’t the right way to go either. I’m thinking a national industry that has reach, does lots of advertising and could use a good reason to see Americans REAL HAPPY for at least one day of the year.  This is a job for the Utility Industry. They’d be happy to get people’s minds off gas and heating oil prices. Plus, they could promote Bacchus Day in our monthly utility bills, on those signs that sit atop the gas pumps and on the serene commercials that promote how gas companies help the environment that run on Sunday morning talking head shows.

I think we are good. All we need to do now is pick a day. Sometime in June. No big holidays then And I think we can definitely steal Flag Day’s thunder. We’ll get back to the specific day after talking with Utility companies.

There it is: Bacchus Day. Who’s with me?