Wine & The Single Man
I've been drinking wine for nearly as long as I've been pining after, dating, kissing, marrying, divorcing, wooing, heartbroken by, cheated on by, lied to by, adoring, and loving women. And here I am today, at 45 years of age, divorced, single, and still drinking wine.
What you should glean from this is that I'm probably not the right guy from whom to take advise on women.
However, I might just be the guy to take advice on how to incorporate wine into the Single Man's life.
There are in fact important things I've learned over the years that single men of any age might want to take to heart where wine, women and singlehood are concerned. And since Valentine's Day is looming, I thought I'd mention a few.
WINE & THE SINGLE MAN: RULES TO LIVE BY
1. In almost every case, a well-stocked and well tended cellar recommends you to a woman. They tend to correctly identify a man who possesses a collection of wine, has given thought to his collection of wine and who knows his wine collection well as a person with a thoughtful disposition and who is has matured enough to look to the future. That tends to be attractive.
2. Simply possessing a well-stocked and well-tended wine collection will never be enough to seal the deal where love or sex is concerned. And if it is, you don't want to love that woman.
3. If you're having a woman you truly appreciate over to your home for dinner and if you possess an above average collection of wine, don't choose the wine for dinner prior to her arrival. Instead, allow her to help choose the wine. You'll learn a great deal about her as you stroll through the possible choices and make a decision together with her input.
4. Unless she really enjoys a good cocktail, always offer sparkling wine upon her arrival at your home for dinner and have it chilled and ready. Whether it should be or not, sparkling wine is a symbol of celebration. And no man should ever forget that it is cause for celebration that she chooses to spend time in your company.
5. When at dinner and your date asks you what wine she should choose or to simply choose the wine for her, do so without argument or discussion. It's not unlikely that a lady wine novice might feel intimidated by your knowledge of wine. Forcing her to feel inadequate by not taking her lead on the wine and telling her to "get what you likes" is dismissive of the compliment she paid you. A man who knows how to take a compliment is not unattractive.
6. Don't be afraid to order pink wine in public. It's not "Gay". It's pink. It's probably dry, if you know your wine. It's probably refreshing and tasty. Plus, any woman that would be turned off by a gentleman choosing a dry rose on a warm spring or summer evening isn't the kind of woman you want to know.
7. Learn how to give a good toast. It's an art that every gentleman ought to cultivate if he expects to find himself in mixed company where wine is being served. If you don't expect to find yourself in mixed company where wine is served, then stop reading this post now and get a cat. Otherwise, spend a little time studying the art of toasting and be prepared to stand and toast your host the next time you are invited to a meal or to toast your guests when you are the host. Bottom line: the ladies like it.
8. Don't get drunk on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd date. I don't care how shy or intimidated you are by her. It's disrespectful, it's liable to lead to words spoken you don't want to utter and it's about as unimpressive as a $5 Pinot Grigio. And let's face it, who wants to be the unimpressive and disrespectful guy who doesn't know when to hold his tongue and when was the last time you saw that guy get the girl?
9. Wine is not an appropriate gift when meeting or picking up a woman for a date. Wine is an accompaniment to a meal. While there are exceptions to this rule depending on the woman, bringing wine as a gift looks unthoughtful and probably is. Plus, the "gift" will eventually be used and not there to remind them of you. Choose something more permanent and thoughtful to express your appreciation.
10. Wine is a perfect drink to drown your sorrows when heartbreak ensues. If you must drink when heartbreak or disappointment envelopes you, choose wine over spirits. The relative lower alcohol content allows you to ease into your drunk more slowly, giving you valuable time to figure out good reasons why it was all her fault and not yours. However, if the heartbreak is entirely your fault, use bourbon or gin.