Does It Matter What Wine You Pour in Your Ass?
You have to believe that the Wine Group, owner of the Franzia brand, would never expect to read a mention of their “Sunset Blush” box wine in the media that is immediately followed by this sentence: “He also had no recollection of losing control of his bowels and defecating on himself.”
The MSNBC article is referring to the University of Tennessee student whose memory was impacted after waking up in a hospital after a night of inserting rubber tubing into his rectum and dousing his bowels with Franzia Sunset Blush. Yes, the student was a member of a fraternity and no, we no have reason to believe that the student is a wine lover who just can’t get enough of Franzia Sunset Blush.
When I was in college, living in the dorms my first year and later living off campus with a group of fun-loving, adventurous souls, there were occasions when we all shook our heads the next morning and agreed, “That was stupid.” Yet this conclusion never resulted from any exploit involving our bowels or rubber tubing. Of this I’m quite proud.
One ought not get the impression that the insertion of rubber tubing into one’s rectum and pouring in wine is proof positive that American college students as whole have turned a corner from generally careless to objectively dumb. One University of Tennessee freshman, upon being told of the incident and asked for comment said, “It’s like a big joke. Because who does that?” This is a very good question.
To answer the question, let me just reiterate that one who does insert tubing into their ass and pours in Franzia Sunset Blush probably isn’t a butting wine lover. (sorry).
Of course, on the other side of the “have-they-turned-the-corner-from-careless-to-dumb” discussion we have this unsettling comment from another University of Tennessee student: “It is definitely over the top. But it doesn’t surprise me, I don’t guess.”
In all the reporting on this incident of ass-based wine ingestion, there has been no indication that the student who agreed to partake in this…experiment…has any opinion on the quality of the Franzia Sunset Blush box wine. Over at “Snooth” the wine is described as “Delicate pink hue with strawberry flavors; easy to drink and very refreshing. Perfect with lighter foods. Serve chilled.” In this case however, I suspect the wine was not chilled and therefore difficult to evaluate.
I have no sympathy for the frat boy that agreed to have rubber tubing stuck down his ass and allowed wine to be poured through it into his bowels and subsequently ended up in the hospital with a blood alcohol level of 0.45.
However, I do have sympathy for The Wine Group, assuming publicity of this incident doesn’t increase sales of Franzia Sunset Blush Box Wine.