The Science & Marketing of Wine & Slurpees

What wine do you drink when it’s 115 degrees?

That was the official high temperature in the Wark Family backyard yesterday, and the record high for my life.

The answer is not wine. Believe me, you’re sluggish enough without putting any alcohol in your body.

The correct answer to what you drink is obviously The SLURPEE.

Now, when it comes to Slurpees, I’m a "Cola" kind of guy when it comes to Slurpees. It has a refreshing "bite" that gets you on the back of the palate with a flavoring that seems to match affect that freezing slushiness has on your palate. I’ve always been a "cola" imbiber when it comes to one of my favorite drinks. But a few years ago the flavor was not longer "cola". It was "Pepsi" flavored. That’s OK because really, it just tasted like "cola" anyway.

But did you know that today Slurpees have contracted with the likes of Hawaiian Punch, Sobe, Sprite and Mountain Dew to help market their Slurpee flavors? As I watched that icy goodness flow into my cup yesterday this licensing of well known flavors to help sell an already famous branded product I got an idea:

Why not "Sprite Wine" or "Hawaiian Punch Pinot Noir" or "Sobe Sauvignon Blanc"?

It occurs to me the licensing of flavors in the pursuit of new wines just hasn’t happened. We’ve had other wine based drinks like Wine Coolers and Arbor Mist and the like. But no one has utilized the power of brands to create a new kind of wine. We might get some flack from those convinced we are marketing alcohol to children or teens, but that charge, will uncomfortable, clearly wouldn’t stick.

I don’t know. Maybe the heat got to me yesterday and as I write this at 8:00am and the temperature is already 81 degrees outside and getting ready to head toward 110, I’m just not in my head.


That said, I want to offer you my best "Slurpee Tip"

The amount of air that comes into your Slurpee cup along with the Slurpee when you pull that magic handle is pretty significant. You are in effect paying for lots of air along with your Slurpee. If you wantSlurp2
to get more Slurpee than air you must do this….

1)Fill the Slurpee cup about an inch from the top of the cup with your favorite flavor.

2) Walk away from the Slurpee machine and get a straw.

3) Start stirring the Slurpee then gently pound the bottom of the cup on the counter.

4) Repeat this process about ten times until the air in the Slurpee mix pushed out and the Slurpee comes together in a thicker mix. You should now have just over half a cup of Slurpee, rather than nearly a full one and more room to pour in more of that cool icy concoction.

5) Return to the Slurpee machine and add more Slurpee. You can repeat the process but due to the concentrated nature of the Slurpee you’ve already created you won’t gain much more room. But, you’ll gain some. So Repeat the process.

6) Put the domed Slurpee Cup with the opening on top on to your Cup and fill it with Slurpee to the top of the dome.

If you do this correctly you will have obtained almost twice as much Slurpee Happiness than if you just filled up your cup.

7 Responses

  1. Marcus - July 23, 2006

    This is the germ of a great idea: Slurpee-ify your favourite summertime wine. I’m pushing for Retsina Slurpee!
    Now who’s got access to the flavor compartment on one of those machines?

  2. wineguy - July 23, 2006

    I think I’ll just stick with sangria.

  3. tom - July 23, 2006

    yea…Sangria…Sort of an “Old School” wine slurpee itself isn’t it.

  4. Chris Dumas - July 23, 2006

    I love slurpees.
    Maybe the reverse should happen… Mondavi should join the bandwagon and endorse a slurpee.
    I think I am going to write about your post on my blog, .
    Stay cool!

  5. steve - July 24, 2006

    This gets my nomination as the most practical wine blog entry of the year. Personally I’m a fan of the Mr. Misty (“The Coldest Drink in Town”) but the severe brain freeze headache that accompanies them is definitely an acquired taste.
    If I had my own machine, I would keep it empty and unplugged in a prominent part of the shop surrounded by a discreet sales force armed with brochures and order forms explaining why you would be nuts to miss out on the en premier Cheval Blanc Slurpees available Spring 2008.

  6. Rob Cole - July 24, 2006

    There was a guy on the winemaking board I’m a member of who tried fermenting Capri Sun. He hasn’t been on there in a while to say how that came out.

  7. WIneBoy! - July 30, 2006

    There is a New Mexico winery that markets and sell wine slushies at the New Mexico wine festivals. It seems they beat you to the punch ( no pun intended. It’s kind of hard to disseminate the “real” wine drinkers from the college kids, but if they have a slurpee looking contraption in their hands you can usually assume the latter. I love slurpees as well on a hot day, but prefer wine.

Leave a Reply