The Story of Chateau Bob

Down the street from Bob is his old friend Pete who owns Pete’s Restaurant. Pete’s been waiting three years for his old friend to make that wine so he could sell it to his customers while they chow down on his chicken kiev, deep fried catfish and cheeseburgers.

But Bob recently discovered he can’t sell any of his 2004 Real Red Wine to Pete. If he did he might go to jail. You see, by law Bob must sell his wine to a  “distributor” who has warehouses 50 miles away.

The state says that only the distributor can sell wine to Pete. In fact, Bob can’t sell his new wine to Pete or anyone else. He can only sell it to a distributor. Bob has to ship or deliver his wine fifty miles away. Then the distributor must take it out of Bob’s truck, put it on the loading dock for 24 hours, then load it on one of their trucks and take it back to Pete’s Restaurant. By law.

Now, before they heard about this “distributor” thing Pete agreed to pay Bob $200 per case for his 2004 Real Red Wine. But, now they learn that the wholesaler has to get their cut for….well…for delivering that wine. The distributor tells Bob that in order for them to sell the wine to Pete for $200 a case, they need to buy it from Bob for $134 per case.

“But,” Bob tells the distributor, “Pete already agreed to buy the wine from me for $200 per case. And I already talked to a whole bunch of other restaurants and wine shops that will pay me $200 a case.”

“Sorry Bob,” says the wholesaler.” That’s the cost of doing business.”

Then it hits Bob.

If he doesn’t do what this wholesaler says, or what another wholesaler who MIGHT agree to sell his wine says he needs to do, then Bob can’t sell ANY of his wine. By law.

Bob’s starting to get pissed!

So, like any good American who’s getting screwed, he puts on his Sunday clothes and heads out to the State Capital.

“Gonna talk to my representative,” grumbles Bob.

“I’m sorry Mr. Bob. The three tiers system of distribution that mandates you can’t sell your wine to Pete is the only thing standing between us and alcohol anarchy,” explains Willy O’Weener, seven time-elected representative and former car salesman from Vineville.

“Why just imagine if you didn’t have to sell your wine for less and ship it 50 miles away from your customers. Who would pay the taxes on the wine? Who would make sure the wine isn’t tainted? Who would fill out all the paper work? Why it would be anarchy I tell you. Alcohol anarchy.”

Bob looked at Representative O’Weener and said, “Well, I’d be willing to pay those taxes and fill out those forms and I’m sure old Pete would too and I’m darn sure Pete wouldn’t want my wine if it were tainted.”

“You don’t understand, Bob….that’s just the way it is. Now you run on back to VineVille and sell that great homemade Real Red Wine to Ernie over at the Distributor and things will be just fine.”

“I can’t do that,” Bob tells Rep. O’Weener. “Before I came here to see you Ernie called and said he won’t distribute my wine and none of the other 2 distributors in the state will either. They say they don’t have time to sell just 200 cases of wine.”