Where’s My Tin Foil Hat?

I have a couple of acquaintances who could legitimately be called Kooks of the Tin Foil hat variety. You probably know the type either from having come across one in a political forum on the Internet or in movies as the over-the-top conspiracy theorists who sees black helicopters flying through the night sky. My two acquaintances happen to be of the "a-powerful-cabal-of-one-worlders-are- conspiring-to-make-us-all-slaves" type.

There is no doubt there they would point to THIS STORY as evidence, then point to this quote from the story as proof:

"With the passage of Senate Bill 131, Ohioans can take opened bottles home in the car."

As I think about the implications of this particular story, I find myself reaching for a tin foil hat.

How is it that Ohioans, and probably citizens of nearly every other state in America, need to have their politicians pass a law in order to have the right to take home with them an unfinished bottle of wine?

You pay $50 for bottle of wine at your favorite restaurant but just can’t finish it. It turns out that in some states you have to leave $25 worth of wine on the table rather than take it home with you the same way you would an unfinished heap of pasta.

I commend the state of Ohio for passing it’s new law that allows one to take home an unfinished bottle of wine, but lament the fact that there actually must be a law to allow it.

The problem of course is that we can’t be trusted with an open bottle of wine in the car with us. While this kind of nannyism isn’t enough to make me pack up and move to the hills or to a country where the powerful cabal of slave drivers can not reach, it does, for me, make that tin foil hats look just a bit more like a sassy accessory than a sign of having gone over the edge.

4 Responses

  1. Tina Caputo - June 27, 2007

    The truly disturbing thing about that story is the woman’s hair in the photo–was that shot taken in 1985? Sorry, I couldn’t help it…
    But seriously: When my friend was a kid, his dad used to fill a cooler with beer to drink during family road trips (yes, he was the driver!). Clearly, for some people, requiring open alcohol containers to be placed in the vehicle’s trunk is a good thing.

  2. Mark Fisher - June 29, 2007

    We here in “Uh-High-Uh” can also buy our booze in certain grocery stores and carryouts, and we can attend drop-in wine tastings in retail wine shops, too. Compared to some states, we Buckeyes are positively enlightened. Except for, you know, all the other silliness that we must tolerate on a daily basis. Still, we endure.

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