Humor, Wine & The Internet

If anyone wants to know why I've always loved the Internet, all you have to do is look at these three quotes, all published in various places on the Internet yesterday. This medium is always  source of great humor and fascination for me.

“'The updated information paints a portrait of an effective system
that operates in every corner of the country and contributes mightily
to the American economy,'said WSWA President and CEO Craig Wolf."

The head of the Wine & Spirit Wholesalers Association on Wine & Spirits Daily refers to a study showing that alcohol wholesalers make an impact on the American economy and are everywhere. Kinda hard not to if your business model, outdated as it is, remains mandated by the states, regardless of its necessity. What next? An announcement by the National Association of Stop Sign Producers (AASSP) "that all across this great land stop sign makers create products that everyone continues to pay attention to"? The only thing the WSWA's Craig Wolf needs to do now is deliver up a new definition of "effective".

"This is not science. This is hippie, dippy, wacky commune back to the
Earth zeitgeist. It reminds me of stoned university students wanting to
go back to the 13
th century and dance around the maypole during the full moon and then sacrifice an animal at midnight to please the gods."

Stu Smith of Smith-Madrone Winery commenting in a most colorful way at Peg Melnik's Blog at the Press Democrat on how he views Biodynamic Farming. I'll say this for Stu, who has made wonderful wines for years without dancing around a maypole—he sure has a way with words. I'm positive there is a tune around which we can wrap the lyrics "hippie-dippy-wacky" and make a fortune.

"looking at that Bloggers Conference, it does look like a big and free
sloppy kiss and then some from the California wine industry…with much
more than minimal hospitality offered…love to see some transparency
from the bloggers(how many of them are paying for travel,car
rental,hotels and meals?)…or should I say blobbers since they are the
source of much of the misinformation,distortion,and egegious falsehoods
spread with reckless abandon on the internet…"

Robert Parker Jr, commenting on the Wine Bloggers Conference and bloggers in general at the eRobert Parker bulletin board..I'll give Robert Parker this: He's got one of the greatest palates in the history of wine and has has about as much impact on the American wine culture of any human being in our history. However, it appears he also harbors an unctuous and massive conspiratorial streak.

11 Responses

  1. Samantha - April 24, 2009

    While I do not agree with Stu, (but do with you, he makes lovely wines) I have to say that was hilarious. Someone sent me a link to that Parker board theread, (not a member…nor do I wish to be) and found it both annoying and kind of silly. To make such rediculous blanket statements shows me how out of touch some of those old school wine dudes are, out of touch and that “you are either with us or against us” shit pisses me off and makes them look paranoid…bloggers are NOT storming your castle buttmunch, we are exploring new territories. If others choose to join us rather than remain stuck in the “thick ass goo” that is your rule, so be it….argh, must have pissed me off more than I thought!

  2. Dr. Horowitz - April 24, 2009

    I’m trying to aggregate humorous wine content at
    I’ll reblog this post on
    If you know anyone who wants to contribute funny wine content to please send them my way!
    I think we’re going to see more funny wine content as wineries start to produce their own multimedia content and spread it through the Internet/social media.

  3. Bob - April 24, 2009

    Three great points here. And numbers 1 and 2 have echoes of the prior administration in them. What has happened to Parker? The guy has been a phenomenal success, financially and otherwise, lived a life most people could only dream of, had more influence in his field than almost anyone in any particualr field, yet he seems to feel threatened. I think it’s time for him to retire and sell the WA franchise.

  4. Bob - April 24, 2009

    As to my prior post, I meant Numbers 1 and 3. I’m totally up in the air about biodynamics.

  5. JohnLopresti - April 24, 2009

    I wonder if Stu ever obtained that foia list of the Napa membership roster of the CA farmBureau? That would be a classic tideline in public discourse. In a more egalitarian domain, I appreciate his outfit’s interest in reasonable price structures. The other riff in the actual PDblog has elements of extraordinary fairness, just too much imagery packed in brief sentences. ?Would he pen a book about this? He sounds like a blogger to me.

  6. Joel Vincent - April 24, 2009

    I posted a response to Parker just from the standpoint of taking a swipe at the Wine Bloggers’ Conference seeing as he made comments that were spreading misinformation,distortion,and egegious falsehoods with reckless abandon on the internet…

  7. Joel Vincent - April 24, 2009

    FYI…I made my response a blog post because he closed the thread on the eRob board before I had a chance to respond to the comments directed at the conference (and indirectly at me).

  8. Charlie Olken - April 24, 2009

    Re the Parker complaints about travel: Is this the same Parker whose staff have taken free, fancy junkets to Argentina and Israel several times and have posted tasting notes from those trips as if they were wines tasted independently?

  9. Iris - April 25, 2009

    For Mr. Parker: is it, because Alice was there and he has not yet swallowed her book:-)?…

  10. Dombeya Wines - April 25, 2009

    Havn’t got the link handy but there was an excellent article in the SF Chronicle about Bio-d that made for good reading. One guy just admitted that he was doing it because he didn’t want his neighbours getting a marketing advantage.

  11. mydailywine - April 27, 2009

    Keep the crazy quotes as a regular feature. Hilarious! Didn’t Stu hear Sean Penn’s acceptance speech? Just a bunch of commie, homo loving sons of guns.

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