Wine Tools and Otherwise

Smoketools The implements and tools associated with the simple act of drinking wine are so varied and so numerous, you'd think it a complicated thing, when in fact, it's merely a matter of opening a package, pouring a liquid into a vessel and lifting that vessel to one's lips. A simple corkscrew will do. A glass of any kind will hold the wine. And any functioning mouth and throat will deliver the wine to its destination.

Still we apparently need 600 different kinds of corkscrews. We need different glasses for every different kind of wine. We need stain resistant drinking shirts. We need aerators to assure the wine is properly jostled before being poured into the glass. We need a secondary vessel to pour the wine into before pouring into the glass.

To get a real sense of the varied implements that have been developed for the simple act of consuming a liquid, go take a look at Wine Enthusiast's Catalog and at the IWA site. 

I couldn't help reflecting on these tools for drinking as I put together the appropriate collection of tools necessary for the simple act of not putting a cigarette in my mouth and smoke into my lungs.

This too is a pretty simple act isn't it. In fact, it amounts to doing nothing at all. And yet, as you can see, the various things I've collected that will help me do nothing are really amazing. To say the least, I'm armed for the non-smoking battle:

Sunflower Seeds
Candy Cigarettes
Altoid mints
Life Savors of various types
Tic Tacs
Nicoderm Nicotine Patches
Chewing Gums
Various lollypops
Fruits of various type
Anti-depressant Budeprion.

Clearly we are dealing here with more than a nicotine addiction. There's  also an oral fixation of 25 some odd years to overcome.

The implements of wine drinking are far more fun to display and use than the implements that go into stopping smoking. That much I know at this point. However, If anyone needs any hard candies, I'm your man.


The feeling of a tightening of the chest is severe. I'm also very twitchy and not a little hyper. It's hard to sit behind my desk. Powers of concentration are lessoned but have not completely left me. Concentrating on activities of any kind help dismiss cravings for a cigarette that can come and go and come and go in incredibly severe ways. Steps are being taken to rid my home of all aspects of smoking, including a complete cleaning of the office and the installation of pumpkin scented candles. I have enormous thanks to give for the desmokification of my home. And they will be getting those thanks!!

12 Responses

  1. Michael Wangbickler - October 26, 2009

    Way to go Tom! I wish you good fortune and a strong will in your battle against the cancer sticks.

  2. Erica Walter - October 26, 2009

    Tom –
    congrats on taking steps to kick the cancer sticks to the curb. I applaud you on your tenacity and I also applaud your ability to still find a way to tie this personal experience to wine in some way.

  3. Marcia - October 26, 2009

    What, no licorice sticks?

  4. Medsen - October 26, 2009

    I wish you success in overcoming tobacco. It is a great challenge, but can yield great benefit. One item you didn’t include on your list is Chantix. This is a revolutionary medicine that GREATLY reduces cravings. It is an interesting example of a greedy, pill-pushing, large drug company producing something that can help you overcome an addiction that would otherwise lead you to need more of their other products. Go figure.
    Ask your doctor about it.

  5. Jeff - October 26, 2009

    This is SO funny and SO true! There are some many people out there that think you need to have all these new “tools” to “properly drink wine”
    The fact of the matter is open the bottle with a regualy plain jane corkscrew. Let the bottle breathe whatever time it needs, and pour! How hard is it right?
    Anyway, I write a blog too. I’m very, and I mean very new at it. It’s very casual and meant to be fun as well. Check it out if you get the chance
    I’ll ready your stuff every day!
    Take care-

  6. Ms. Drinkwell - October 26, 2009

    I get asked a lot about the Vinturri or whatever the wine gadget of the day is, but I’ve never been fond of any of them. Besides glasses, I have just three tools on hand — a waiter’s corkscrew, an ah-so (for opening older bottles), and a regular non-fancy decanter. I can’t see the need for anything else, really.
    Continued good luck on your non-smoking quest. You’ve got a lot of people rooting for you!

  7. Gretchen - October 27, 2009

    Good luck Tom!

  8. Thomas Pellechia - October 27, 2009

    Knowing what I know about the other Round Up, it would scare the daylights out of me to eat one of those candy cigarettes.

  9. The Wine Mule - October 27, 2009

    Yeah, it only takes a corkscrew and a glass. And someday you won’t need to plug stuff into your mouth, either. And that will be a great day, no? Like they say, One Day At A Time. As you can see, we’re all pulling for you, Tom.

  10. Dylan - October 27, 2009

    Way to go, Tom. No one likes a La Brea Lung.

  11. Sarah Warner - October 27, 2009

    Hey Tom,
    FYI to keep in mind. STAY AWAY from sugar/candies like those lifesavors and altoids. The reason is that it causes your blood pressure to rise and fall at a drastic rate which will cause INTENSE cravings for the stimulant nicotine. Furthermore, sugar tends to make us crave MORE sugar, which leads to empty calories and WEIGHT GAIN.
    Better, for keeping your mouth “occupied” are celery sticks, carrot sticks. Frozen grapes, etc.
    Just a tip! 🙂

  12. Ed Thralls - October 30, 2009

    Keep up the good work, Tom!

Leave a Reply