So, it's late last night. I'm in bed. Ready to soak up some TV. Tivo: nothing. Nothing recorded by me or the little man inside the box that interests me. And then it struck me: Why the heck isn't there "The Wine Channel"?
Now, there is no doubt that across the wine related video is proliferating. We have independents creating Internet-based wine content, wine stores delivering video, wineries producing video and video recordings of wine-related events. But wine simply has not made the prime time leap to Channel Status on Basic Cable. Yes, we have a few wine related show. But there is no "The Wine Channel".
Now, from my perspective I think this is ridiculous. After all, we have the "Speed" channel for Christ's sake. The "Speed" channel? Please! Now I think I get why there is no "The Wine Channel". The Dorks, semi-dorks and wanna-be dorks who would watch it don't begin to gather in the same number as the "speed dorks". And so there's the problem.
The other problem a "The Wine Channel" would have is that there happens to be 24 hours in a day. How are you going to fill up 24 hours with unique, wine-related content. It's not easy. We are talking about fermented grape juice driving a cable channel 24 hours a day. But as any self respecting marketer knows, we really aren't talking about a "Fermented Wine Juice Channel". We are talking about the "Fermented Wine Juice LIFESTYLE Channel.
So, in a bid to be considered as the Programming VP for the (You listening Comcast?) "Winery Channel", allow me to suggest the programming for this new venture.
1. Celebrity Wine
A celebrity that makes or likes wine takes the viewer into their world, discusses their lives, their wines, their wine experienced.
2. The Wine Tasting Party
Five guests and a celebrity host talk and rank brown bagged wines, revealing the top wines at the end of the show.
3. In The Cellar
On location visit to a single winery
4. Wine 101
Teaching the basics of all things a self respecting wine consumer needs to know from decanting, uncorking and glassware to choosing wines, learning about varieties and different countries' wines
5. Wine Travel
Travel adventures to wine regions across the globe.
6. The Wine Store
A reality show that follows 20 people chosen to run two different wine stores in downtown San Francisco. Very interesting and beautiful people compete to be the owners of each store
7. The Wine Movie
It need only have a passing connection to wine. But it's a movie.
8. A Movie & A Bottle
Two very engaging hosts talk about wine between breaks in a movie of any sort. They speculate on how wine could have been incorporated into the film
9. Film Quaffers
Four people, sitting silhouetted in the first row of a movie theater with a film showing above them spend two hours watching the film with the viewer, making terribly witty and dismissive comments about the writing and acting, all while drinking way too much wine throughout the film
10. Wine Shopping
Each day a new winemaker spends an hour standing with a host, promoting his wines, while the viewer can call in and buy the wine: WineShoppingTV, essentially.
11. Wine Gossip
A staff of crack wine bloggers gather on a cool set and spend a half hour noting silly and not so silly news from the world of wine.
12. Wine Spectator TV
They must have their own show. It's a news/variety format where the editors and writers of the Wine Spectator introduce viewers to new wines, to the news of the week, give vintage reports on various wine regions, interview wine people and run a scroll along the bottom with just the names of wines and their ratings.
12. Wine Enthusiast TV
13. Wine & Spirits TV
14. Wine Biz Radio (Live)
Randy Hall and Kaz of Wine Biz Radio video tape and broadcast live their radio show a la Howard Stern
15. The Auction
Wine Auctions are broadcast in part with interviews with buyers as well as sellers and advise on wine investing is offered.
There are of course many other ideas for shows on The Wine Channel. But I think I'll wait until the executives at Comcast call and offer me the job of VP of programming.