Changing the Wine Drinking Calculation…One Pill at a Time

pillWhat would be the impact on wine lovers if the inebriation qualities of wine were eliminated, while the alcohol remained in the drink? Put another way, what if the amount of wine you drank no longer determine how drunk you got?

This is the tantalizing and fascinating question that arises from a news report that a pill is being developed that, upon being taken, would instantly sober up a person who has been drinking.

Due to the fact that wine gets us drunk when a certain amount is consumed, those of us that drink lots of wine for professional and personal reasons have a calculation to make. It goes like this:

“How much wine can I consume in order to pursue my love of wine today while not getting more drunk than X?”

Most of us know where X lies and how much we can drink before we get there and have to stop. The problem is that for us wine lovers, there is almost always a wine on the table we have not tried yet or want to enjoy more of. Some folks who love wine don’t care that much whether they go over the X line. But most of us do. As a result, we are limited in the degree to which we can pursue our love of wine. That sucks.

Yet if this pill is developed and if when we take it we can essentially erase the inebriation slate, then all bets are off aren’t they.

For example, many of us have to be careful at large wine tastings where numerous wines are available for tasting. Even when we spit, we have to limit our intake because you still swallow some and you absorb the wine into your body despite spitting. But if I could take this pill, I could try as many wines as I desired, assuming my palate lasts.

For another example, the other night I sat at a dinner party in my home and surveyed upwards of 30 wines opened. I poured small amounts to try them and really wanted to go back and drink more of some of them. But, it was time to stop myself because I hate the feeling of being drunk more than I like the taste of wine. That sucks. But if I had this pill on hand, all I’d have to worry about is the line for the bathroom. And I’ve got 4 bathroom in this house. Problem solved.

But here is the real issue: Isn’t part of the ancient allure of wine the fact that it DOES affect your perception, alter our blood and our body’s chemical make up and, well, get you drunk? I think it is. I think this is part of the allure of wine, beer and spirits. In fact, I think this is one of the benefits of wine, beer and spirits.

Assuming that this new pill being developed works to eliminate or severely reduce one’s blood alcohol level, then I think it is probably a good thing. A great thing really, considering the damage that is done by folks who don’t care that they go beyond the X level of inebriation.

But a the same time, this pill will serve to forever alter the calculation that most of us make when consuming wine. We will no longer have to count our drinks. Ending the drunken feeling and reality near instantly will be an option. This in turn raises the question, what does it mean to not take the pill?


5 Responses

  1. Thomas Pellechia - February 20, 2013

    Ah, for the better mousetrap!

  2. Kurt Burris - February 20, 2013

    I would be fun to drink to the point of wittiness, sober up, and then do it all over again, except this time focusing on the wines you really liked. However, would your palate also be “reset” or would it still feel like it does after ZAP? That would truly be a miracle.

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